A journey into Parenthood & dealing with loss

Posts tagged ‘goals’

The BSquirt has arrived!

Kyle Connor Johnson

Minutes after birth

Minutes after birth

was born at 13h50 on Wednesday, 28 May 2014 at Life Westville Hospital in Durban, South Africa. He came into the world via natural delivery after a relatively short labour at 40 weeks and 2 days.

I began counting contractions around 19h00 on Tuesday evening. They were fairly regular, but quite far apart and not very intense. Since I’d thought labour had started on Sunday night, I was not going to count my chickens before they hatched. I eventually decided to go to sleep around midnight. At 02h30 I was woken up by a rather painful contraction. I once again started recording them and they were closer together and firmer, but still a little erratic. At about 04h30 I woke hubby to let him know we were getting closer. He remained very calm and began getting everything together and into the car.

We both showered and at about 05h45 I was in the middle of getting dressed and had a leak of fluid. Now we knew it was time to head to the hospital. We left home just after 06h00. Here is the last photo of me pregnant:

Leaving for the hospital

Leaving for the hospital

We arrived at the hospital and I went straight to the labour ward. I was admitted and put on monitoring. I arrived a few minutes before the shifts changed, so we waited for the day staff to do most things. I was assessed and was at 3cm dilated, baby’s heart rate and contractions were regular and everything was as it should be. After the assessment was done we were moved to our labour room. I was the only mother in the ward the whole morning. All other deliveries that day were Caesarean Section.

We were made comfortable and then left to our own devices pretty much. My sister arrived around 08h00 to check in on us, and remained at the hospital for the rest of the morning, sending updates to all the family and friends. My parents had already started their journey from Swan River, MB, Canada to Durban, so they were getting updates as and when they could get wifi in airports.

Dr P arrived just before 08h00 and assessed me and I was now at 5cm and he was happy with how everything was going. I continued to to labour for a few hours without any intervention, but eventually asked for the entonox gas. Although that made me slightly woosy, it wore off quickly and definitely too the edge off. Dr P checked me once more when I was 9cm and said it would be in the next 2-3 hours. The last few hours are all a bit of a blur!

Once Dr P was happy for me to push, I managed to push Kyle out in 4 or 5 contractions. I avoided an episiotomy and only had a grade 1 internal tear. I got over and hour skin-on-skin time with Kyle in the delivery room and then he was taken with B to the nursery for his check ups and first bath. Dad finally got to hold him – I hadn’t even realised that I was hogging him the whole time in the labour ward.


B was the most amazing partner during labour and I am so impressed with him. He was there for the me the whole time, making sure I was as comfortable as possible. He was a great distraction when I needed him to be too. He was totally all I could have asked for. The nursing staff were exceptional too and I am very impressed with my time in the labour ward,  the maternity ward is another story, for another day!

I was so thrilled to have had nearly everything from my birth plan stuck to. As Dr P said, my labour and birth were not just text book – I rewrote the text book. I was even told I’d get a gold star on the day I was discharged.


Kyle is doing well and we are loving having this beautiful little boy in our lives!

The poser even at 2 days old!

The poser even at 2 days old!



Our Milestones for the next few months

As I said in my 6 Week Update – here is a list of the milestones that we are going to set for ourselves for each step of the way.

Heartbeat (We have never seen a heartbeat before. All my previous appointments have happened after my miscarriages)

Celebratory Dinner
Buy first Baby Outfit together.
9 Weeks – This would be the furtherest we’ve gone (hence no 8 weeks)
Brian’s Birthday – We’ve already booked a holiday and will spend a week in a lovely secluded spot on the KZN North Coast and will do a few days of leisurely wild life viewing in St Lucia and Hluhluwe-Umfolozi. It’s going to heaven!
12 Weeks (15 Nov 2013)
Family & Close friends announcement – those that don’t already know, these are the people that we will tell in person. 
I Start Pregnancy Yoga
14 Weeks (29 Nov 2013)
Facebook Announcement
Register and find out about child birth classes
Meet with my friend who is a Hypnobirth coach.
16 Weeks (13 Dec 2013)
Start decorating Baby’s Room
We need to paint, possibly take up the carpet and order our wall decal. Also need to figure out what to do for curtains etc.
This is our inspiration for the nursery. You can see other inspiration pics on my Houzz Ideabook.
Nursery Inspiration
17 Weeks (20 Dec 2013)
Buy Xmas Decoration for the baby
Every year B & I get Christmas decorations for each other – this year we will pick out a special one for the baby too.
20 Weeks (10 Jan 2014)
Buy Pram & Car Seat (January Sales?) We love the Mamas & Papas Sola Range – B wants it Lime Jelly as below.
Sola Lime
24 Weeks (7 Feb 2014)
Buy Cot
Have a Romantic Weekend Away
Baby’s room to be completed.
28 Weeks (7 Mar 2014)
Register for Baby Shower
Schedule Maternity Photo Shoot
Book Maternity Ward
32 Weeks (4 Apr 2014)
Practice Hospital Run (and time it).
Buy Baby Keepsake Book/App.
Install Baby Car Seat.
Order Nappies
34 Weeks (18 April 2014)
Baby Shower around this time
Pack the hospital bags
36 Weeks (2 May 2014)
We are still thinking about what sort of things to come up with for the last couple of months – any suggestions in the comments are welcome.
40 Weeks (30 May 2014)


Six week Update

Yesterday was six weeks since my LMP. According to my apps, baby is the size of a green pea.


I thought I would do those update questions just to give me something to follow my journey with. We will start taking pics of me today, and will make that a weekly thing. I will post all pics etc in the Gallery tab above.

How far along are you? I am 6 weeks and 1 day.


What’s happening with the baby? My apps tell me that baby’s lungs and heart are developing, but that it will still be a few weeks before you can hear the heart beat on a Doppler.

Total weight gain? Somehow I’ve managed to gain 2.2kgs since last week. I’m only weighing myself every Friday so I’m hoping that it’s just from a slow digestive tract. 

Maternity clothes? Not yet, although I am finding my belts have to be on a looser hole than before.

Stretch marks? Not any pregnancy related.

Sleep? I’m tired a lot! I’m usually in bed by about 9pm, but I’m awake by 5am almost every morning. I have been trying to have a rest in the afternoons, but work just hasn’t allowed that this week. I napped yesterday afternoon and this afternoon though.

Best moment this week? I have a few. 1) Getting the phone call from Dr P to say he’s very happy with my numbers and to stop stressing. 2) Telling my best friend this morning at the park and seeing how excited she was for us. She even gave the baby a talking to and told it to stay put this time! 3) Using pregnant to convince my hubby to buy me a body massager at the Homemakers Expo this afternoon – it is truly amazing. 4) Having a really good session with my therapist yesterday.

Miss anything? Not really at this point.

Movement? I really wish my digestive tract did, but nothing else.

Food cravings? I’ve been eating lots of fruit – pineapple, grapes, strawberries. Chocolate slabs don’t stand a chance with me, I finish the whole slab without really noticing. I’m drinking a lot of water – I never drink water!

Anything make you queasy or sick? I can’t have milk with my cereal in the morning at the moment. And being hungry makes me queasy. I also find that as soon as I climb in the car I feel queasy.

Gender? Too early, but we aren’t going to find out.

Symptoms? Tender breasts, frequent urination, slight queasiness, v.e.r.y. slow digestive tract.

Belly button in or out? No change – I’ve always had a very deep innie.

Wedding/Engagement Rings on or off? Both on, I will try keep my wedding ring on at all costs. I haven’t taken it off at all since the wedding.

Looking forward to? Nightly massages with our new massager and passing each Friday without incident, getting us closer to 12 weeks. Coming up with our list of milestones.

My best friend gave us a really cool idea for this pregnancy. Since there are so many milestones that the baby is reaching, and the pregnancy is reaching, make some milestones for us to complete every now and then. So for example at 12 weeks make a big purchase for baby’s room, at 24 weeks buy nappies, at 30 weeks buy the pram etc. B and I are going to work on our list and I will post it here during the week.

Our first one is when we see the heartbeat we will go for celebratory dinner. Hopefully that will be at my appointment next week Wednesday.


What to do, what to do?

It’s been just over a month since my last, and third, miscarriage. I’m now trying to figure out what to do, what the next steps should be. We were expressly told to wait for once cycle to complete before trying again and so we did. I’m a few days into the new cycle. After the last miscarriage I decided that I could take a break from being healthy and compliant with pregnancy and pre-pregnancy diets and just let loose. I had a couple nights of drinking more wine than I should, I ate sushi and rare steaks, and various other things that I love and shouldn’t have while I’m pregnant/trying to conceive (TTC).

Last night was my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary. It would have been when we did a big announcement of our pregnancy as I would have been 12 weeks and 5 days. Instead I had to deal with my BIL telling us to hurry up and practice more, and other comments about us having kids. It was a tough-ish evening, but I think I handled it gracefully and did ok. In my mind I had set today as the last day for this lack of restraint, and from tomorrow we would be back to a stricter, healthier diet for B (my hubby) and I. So here I sit with probably my last glass of wine for a while trying to figure out what to do.

Medical expenses in South Africa are very high. We are on Medical Aid but we have already been burned by them this year when they refused to pay for my emergency appendectomy as we opted for a laparascopic procedure since the doctor advised we do that, especially if we were TTC any time soon. So we had to fork out R15 000 for that. We have now just signed up for gap cover which is an insurance policy that would cover most shortfalls between the Medical Aid cover and what the hospital/doctors/specialists charge. However – Pregnancy or childbirth have a 12 month waiting period. I appear to get pregnant quite quickly, usually within 2 or 3 months of us trying. That could be a problem as we would have a lot of out of pocket expenses. We have some money set aside, so we it wouldn’t be the end of the world, but if we are going to pay this gap cover premium every month, it would be good if it actually covered what we needed it for. I’d also like it to cover the additional tests and things that I might be having since I am now officially a member of the Recurrent Pregnancy Loss (RPL) group. Not a group I ever really wanted to be in!

So here I am trying to figure out what to do. From tomorrow there will be no more alcohol brought into the house. B can order when we are out for dinner or when he is somewhere else (not very often), but there will be no drinking at home for either of us until my Big Fat Positive (BFP). I won’t be drinking alcohol at all from tomorrow (hence me enjoying my last glass of red wine right now). I’m probably going to cut out coffee altogether too, but I might take this week to wean off that. I only have one or two cups a day, but I’ll wean to decaf and then stop. There will be no more sugar from tomorrow – we have Xylitol for our cereal, and don’t really use it anywhere else. I’ll be cutting down on creamy sauces and our favourite aged cheeses. We will be upping our fresh vegetables and only eating lean meats, and cutting back on pastas & potatoes. Also reducing our wheat – especially the artisan breads we are very fond of. We will hopefully be starting our workouts again, otherwise I will be starting to walk daily around my neighbourhood three times a week at least. I need to write these things here so that I am accountable for my goals. I need to try my best to get my BMI down a bit lower.

I am going to continue with my chiropractor appointments. He has said that I have improved immensely since my first appointment. I thank the amazing blog community that I have come into contact with over the last 10 days. Reading the stories of other women who have struggled through similar things has really helped me. Reading about the paths that women have taken, and the options they have considered have helped me to figure out what I want. Sharing my story in the comments on their blogs has also helped me release some of my pent up feelings which has been really good for me.

As far as my Gynea (Dr P) is concerned I must just try again. Once I’m pregnant he will put me on progesterone. I am currently on folic acid supplement and baby aspirin. I will be taking these more religiously from tomorrow too! We do still want to have B tested, which is  probably one of the only usual tests that we haven’t done yet. I did however realise that I don’t actually know what all the tests are that my doctor has run. All I know is that there is nothing in the tests to suggest a reason for my recurrent losses. I’ve had my progesterone levels checked and I am ovulating (but we know that since I do fall pregnant), I don’t have a thyroid problem, my sugar levels were slightly raised and that was treated over 6 months but have improved, I have no serious antibodies floating around, and I’m not carrying any viruses that could be causing the issues. I don’t know what other tests were run, I will find out when I next have an appointment.

I read a while ago that when you are TTC that you should choose one of the methods (timing, cervical mucous (CM), basal body temperature (BBT), ovulation prediction tests (OPT)) and stick with that. We decided on timing. It’s worked ok for us – I’ve fallen pregnant 3 times in the past 10 months using this method, so I think we will stick with this. The million dollar question is – do we try for a BFP this cycle? Or wait a couple more months until we’ve tested B and my body is in a better place physically? I guess it’s something we will have to decide on before next weekend (my app says I’m going to be most receptive next weekend).

Beauty 4 Ashes 24/7

Your brokenness is ALWAYS welcome here ♥ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvfBAr2oPuSgabfOhQ_98uw

WAHM WorkSpace Blog

Where Moms Meet, Mingle and Market!

SA Cloth Directory

Cloth Addicts Unite!

Slowly treading water

My slighlty chaotic, anything-but-ordinary journey trying to be a wife, medical professional and still be me

Fragile Haven

A Fragile X carrier shares the ups and downs of TTC

Mothering three deaf daughters - my journey...

my experiences and daily life as a parent of deaf children

The Adventures of Fanny P.

...because life is just one big adventure...

Immotileturtle's Blog

Just another infertile rocking in a fertile world

lamenting the lentil

unexplained infertility, twin pregnancy, and me


A journey from infertility to family and beyond

two solid lines

Life in search of two solid lines...Our journey to parenthood.


Running, Mommyhood, and Awesomeness!

Decorex SA

Official blog of Decorex SA, South Africa's favourite home decor, design and lifestyle exhibition

Barefoot Whispers

Medical doctor, book-lover, aspirant adventurer

Midlands Musings

The love, life and words of a Midlands girl who cannot be put in a nutshell.


This is a writing page to complement my photograph page on www.basilARTinc.com

The crooked path through IVF

Will I be missing motherhood entirely? It’s the only question that seems to weigh on my mind these days.


instant urban greening


22 and TTC - London Living <3

mission: mini vogt

Our journey to create {and keep} a healthy baby.