A journey into Parenthood & dealing with loss

Since the news this morning I have decided not to publicise my blog for now. So no sharing on Facebook & Twitter – this is just for the special people  that I have come to know in cyber space. For those of you that are still struggling with the journey I wish you every hope. I am truly sorry if this post causes anyone even a little sadness! I know I’m going to have a lot of conflicting emotions over the next few weeks and months, and I’m going to need to share with someone! I hope some of you will stick around.

AF was due last Friday! When she hadn’t shown up by Monday I thought it was just a glitch with how I was tracking. Yesterday I counted the days. 33 days since my last visit. This morning I peed on a stick (POAS).

#4 in less than a year

#4 in less than a year

There’s no question there!  I phoned Dr P’s rooms to make an appointment and can’t get one until 7w5d – 3 weeks from today. I went for blood work this morning – I just go directly to the lab, as it’s near impossible to get a short notice appointment with Dr P and I know which tests to ask for.  I’m still waiting – just got the call – for Dr P’s rooms to phone me back with my levels: Progesterone is at 57.3 and BETA wasn’t done – they are doing it now. All the lab confirmed with me was that I was positive for hCg. I will go again on Friday morning for another round of blood work. I’m hoping that everything goes smoothly from now until my appointment.

With my last pregnancy I didn’t wake B up when I tested (it was a weekend & I was up before 6am), and I waited for his alarm to go off before I told him. He was upset that I didn’t wake him up as soon as I knew. This morning I woke him up. I told him in his groggy, half asleep state and he just rolled over, wrapped his arm around my waist and told me he loved me. Later when we woke up a bit we talked.

He worded it beautifully – We are apprehensively excited!

I found myself thinking about being pregnant at Christmas, and doing an announcement and stuff. Why is it always so instant this hope?

My tummy was in knots the whole mornings – I’m not sure if it’s nerves or hormones. I managed to eat and find eating calms my tummy. I’ve also been drinking loads of water.

I feel bad that I haven’t been looking after myself this month in preparation for being pregnant, as I thought we had avoided the fertile week entirely. I had an incredibly stressful week last week and was consoled with multiple glasses of wine. Yesterday was National Braai Day and I had a drink or two while we sat around the braai. I’ve eaten lovely mature brie, drunk too many giant mugs of coffee and I’m sure done a whole lot of other things I shouldn’t when trying to conceive. At least my eyes and teeth are getting sorted out, I have the final dentist appointment tomorrow to fix the last filling. Guess it is back to focussed healthy eating and no more bad stuff! Just one teeny-tiny espresso in the mornings. B even bought me decaf Nespresso pods when we placed the last order – to him that’s sacrilege. The fact I drink instant coffee is bizarre to him!

I will update again when I have more info. Right now it’s just kind of a blur of emotions.

I don’t know when I will publish this post but it was originally written on 25 September 2013. 

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Comments on: "So much for skipping this cycle!" (12)

  1. This is great! Congrats!!!!! 🙂

  2. Fantastic news Bianca, I’m so pleased for you both. Crossing ovaries this is it! xx

  3. Miss Fanny P said:

    congratulations. i just POAS as well….and i think we will be due at the same time!!!

  4. Great news!! Good luck and fingers crossed that things continue to go well!

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